Are You Self-Gaslighting? Here’s How To Spot The Destructive Behavior. | HuffPost Life

    “In the past, I’d tolerate hurtful behavior because I somehow allow myself to believe the situation or action wasn’t as bad as it was,” said Beringer, an astrology writer at Bustle who lives in San Diego. “And it happens when I’m most vulnerable, when I’m reflecting and doing inner work, because assessing your responses is important for growth.”

    “If those types of thoughts are coming up frequently and instinctively for you, there’s a good chance you’ve internalized some gaslighting and are now gaslighting yourself out of habit,” Barkholtz said. You’re so used to doubting your reality, you don’t even need an abuser to ignite that questioning for you.

    As a psychologist, my top recommendation is for people to consider therapy to explore the messages they’ve internalized about themselves,” Campbell said. “Recovering from self-gaslighting is challenging to do alone because of the tendency to discredit yourself it can feel like you’re fighting yourself every step of the way. A therapist can help you safely dig deep to heal your trust in yourself.”

    “This is the kind of thing that can be highly individualized and can show up differently for different people,” Barkholtz said. “The more aware of and familiar you are with your own patterns, the easier it is to adjust or reality-test when they happen, or even head them off at the pass when you know you’re in a situation that could be triggering.”

    “This can be in the form of statements such as, ‘I’m feeling frustrated and helpless right now. It’s OK to feel this way. I’m allowed to feel this way,’” Campbell said. “Emotions want to be heard, and allowing ourselves to experience them is actually what helps us move through them.”

    “The most basic technique is to imagine someone you deeply care about going through the same situation you’re facing. What would you tell them if they told you they feel the way you’re feeling?” Campbell said.

    “There isn’t something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with you if this is something you struggle with,” Barkholtz said. “Don’t be discouraged by ‘slow’ or up-and-down progress in this process. Gradual change is sustainable change.”

    This content was originally published here.

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